


silence quite this loud

by fabulousfairytales



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: 10 years later, Angst, M/M, Time Jump, i literally don't know how to tag, much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 12:57:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9491822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabulousfairytales/pseuds/fabulousfairytales
Summary: Sometimes fate brings two people together. Sometimes fate seperate those two people again. And sometime fate is just a giant asshole laughing in your face. And if fate were a person, Alec would punch them in the face. Malec. Angst.





	

„I’m sorry,“ Alec whispered, tears rolling over his cheek. This was shit. This was bullshit. He hated this crap so, so much. But as of right now, this wasn’t good for him, for neither of them.

“I know, it’s okay Alexander,” Magnus assured with tears glistening in his eyes.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Always have. Always will.”

“I’ll miss you.” Alec sobbed. If this was fate, then he hated it. Fate was unfair and if it were a person, Alec would punch them in the face.

“And I will miss you.”

“Do you think that we could make this work in the future?”

“I don’t know, but I sure hope so, my darling.”

And with that Magnus disappeared through the portal, separating them for a decade before they would see each other again for maybe the last time.

\---

“Are you Alec Lightwood? You must be, you look exactly like he had described you.” Alec heard a female voice from the other end of the empty room. He didn’t knew this woman at all, but he did notice the sadness in those words.

“Uhm, yeah, that’s me. And who are you?” He asked the blue-skinned woman. She was clearly a warlock and for a second he had to think about Magnus.

Years have passed, 10 to be certain, after their break up. It had hurt so much, but back then it was the only good thing he could’ve done for Magnus.

They were arguing. Not about mundane things like whose turn is it to wash the dishes or who forgot to turn off the lights. No, never about things like that.

They had argued about Magnus’ immortality. When Camille contacted him about a way to end Magnus’ immortality, he did ignore her. He also didn’t care when she tried to sabotage their relationship by kissing Magnus’ several times in front of him.

But it did got him thinking. And he didn’t wanted to leave Magnus behind when he would die. He also didn’t wanted to take it away, it was a part of who Magnus was and he respected that. Logic-wise, he didn’t even had a problem with it. But his feelings were a different thing. He wasn’t ready to be with him if that meant that he would age and Magnus didn’t.

After Magnus, he had been in several relationships. He really did love some people, other ones he just couldn’t love. But nobody was like Magnus. Nobody ever made him feel what he had felt before with him.

In two weeks he would be flying to London, where Magnus was currently living to see him again. He had made this decision a few days ago when he had broken up with his latest ex-boyfriend, Connor, and realized that he really didn’t care about the immortality thing anymore. All he wanted, all he _needed_ was to be with Magnus again.

He jumped a little bit when he felt a blue hand on his right arm.

“I’m Catarina Loss and you have to come with me okay? It’s about Magnus,” She quickly explained.

“M-Magnus? What? How did you know that I-?”

“How did I know, what?” Catarina asked confused.

“That I was planning to go to London to see him,” He professed.

Catrina stopped dead in her tracks. He looked into Alec’s eyes with a sad, sympathetic look.

“Oh, Alec. Alec, I’m so sorry, but Magnus-”

“What is with him?”

“Alec, Magnus is dying,” she whispered.

Alec felt his blood run cold.

\---

They stepped into the living room of Magnus’ apartment. Alec looked around confused, it looked so much different than the one he had in Brooklyn. He often had changed the interior of his lairs, but for as long as he had lived with him, the structure had always been the same.

“He’s in there,” Catarina pointed at a silvery door. Alec nodded and practically ran into the room that appeared to be Magnus’ bedroom.

“Magnus?”

When he had entered the room, he saw him. His hair was still the same, only flopping flat on one side. No make-up touched his face at all.

“Alexander,” The older man whispered, a smile plastered on his face. Before he could say anything else, Alec sat already next to him in his bed. He felt the Shadowhunter’s strong arms wrap around his weak body and his smile just grew wider.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Alec mumbled, trying not to cry. He did really try, but feared that at the next thing Magnus would say, he would just lose it.

“And I missed you, darling.” And at this, Alec broke down completely. Sobs rattled through his whole body. Tears streaming down his face as he pulled Magnus closer into his arms.

“I wanted to visit you herein two weeks, do you know that? I wanted to come here and see you and get back together, well if you would’ve still wanted me. But now that doesn’t matter anymore and I don’t know what to say or do, because this all is just a huge pile of shit. It’s not fair. It is everything but fair, it’s cruel and shitty and oh god Magnus, I love you so much, I can’t lose you. This wasn’t even an option. _Me_ losing _you_ ,” Alec babbled. Magnus gently placed his finger on Alec’s lips, just like he did back then when all he wanted to do was to drink the martini with him after they had saved Luke’s life.

“I love you too, Alexander,” Was all Magnus said. He snuggled up into Alec’s chest and closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in the other man’s scent that he had missed for so long now. They stayed like this for a few moments until Magnus had another coughing fit.

“Is there really nothing I can do to help you? Anything?” Alec whispered, his voice broken. He bend over to give Magnus his glass of water which he emptied down in one swing. The older man sighed and caressed Alec’s cheek.

“Oh Alec, my sweet, sweet Alec. There is nothing you can do, except stay with me ‘til the end?”

“I – Of course I stay, Mags,” Alec promised. He continued looking at the man he loved, heartbroken at how weak he looked.

Magnus Bane never looked weak. He never even had anything like a bad hair day. He always wore eyeliner and had his hair styled. He had never gotten sick. And now he was dying.

“Alec?”

“Yes?”

Silence.

Magnus smiled again. By the Angel, Alec loved seeing him smile. Something he would miss seeing so bad.

“Can you kiss me? Please?” He asked weakly.

Alec smiled. He smiled like the man he loved wouldn’t die. He smiled like he wasn’t about to lose the man he loved. He smiled as if someone told him that he was able spend his life with Magnus.

Alec nodded and slowly bent down to gently press his lips on Magnus’.

They both felt the tingling and sparkling between then, mixed with another, different and to them until now unknown feeling of liberation and a weight being lifted.

When they parted again, Magnus’ cat eyes were glowing and he smirked tired.

“Alec, I really want to spend my forever with you.“

**Author's Note:**

> I uhm, am sorry? I don't know why I'm even doing this to myself, but, uhm yeah. Initially I wanted to write something different, more fluffly, but then it turned into this. Hehe. Also, I know this end is kinda open. How do you think does it end? Should I add another chapter? I don't know.  
> But anyways, tell me what you think!


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